Japanese philosopher and counselor Ichiro Kishimi, best known for the international bestseller The Courage to Be Disliked, returns with a new psychological essay that explores one of the most uncomfortable yet universal human emotions: jealousy.
In Facing Jealousy With Courage, Kishimi examines how jealousy and envy emerge from comparison, insecurity and the desire for recognition. Rather than portraying these emotions as personal failings, he approaches them as natural psychological responses that reveal how people understand themselves and their relationships with others.
The book distinguishes jealousy from envy while showing how closely the two are connected. Jealousy stems from the fear of losing love, attention or acceptance to someone else, while envy grows from confronting qualities or achievements one believes are out of reach. Although they often overlap, Kishimi argues that each reflects a different form of emotional insecurity.
A central theme of the book draws on Adlerian psychology's concept of the "dethronement of the child." When a child loses the exclusive attention of a parent after the arrival of a sibling, what shapes future relationships is not the objective experience itself but the child's interpretation of it. Kishimi suggests that these early emotional patterns often continue into adulthood, influencing how people respond to intimacy, trust and rejection.
The author also examines how jealousy can gradually shift into controlling behavior. Attempts to protect a relationship may become efforts to monitor or restrict another person, replacing mutual trust with suspicion and rigid expectations. What begins as an effort to preserve love can ultimately place greater strain on the relationship itself.
Envy, meanwhile, reflects a different psychological dynamic. Referring to Aesop's fable of "The Fox and the Grapes," Kishimi explains how people often defend their self-esteem by dismissing another person's success instead of confronting their own feelings of inadequacy.
Throughout the book, Kishimi challenges the assumption that comparison or feelings of inferiority are necessary for personal growth. Drawing on the ideas of Alfred Adler alongside thinkers including Erich Fromm, Kiyoshi Miki, Plato and biblical teachings, he argues that a person's worth exists independently of achievement, status or recognition.
Rather than encouraging readers to suppress jealousy, Facing Jealousy With Courage invites them to acknowledge it, examine the standards by which they measure themselves and develop a stronger sense of self beyond comparison. By understanding where jealousy begins, Kishimi suggests, people may also discover a healthier way to relate to both themselves and those around them.
Reported by News Culture M.J._mj94070777@nc.press
Copyright ⓒ 뉴스컬처 무단 전재 및 재배포 금지
